Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

(2009)




Spoiler Grumbles
WARNING: Please do not continue reading unless you have either seen the movie or do not mind having it spoiled.



No Wizard fight! Really? I know 'Harry' isn’t about the action, but every 'Potter' movie has at least one climactic scene. This movie did not. Dumbledore’s death isn’t even climactic, and that’s the passing of a bawler. I expected him to go down in a blaze of glory destroying half of England in the process. Instead, he just gets blasted out the window after begging like a pansy. Worse yet, it turns out that there is in fact a sweet battle surrounding his death in the book. I knew those Death Eaters weren’t being built up for no reason, they actually throw down in the end. Why was that left out? Wait, wait, I actually already have the answer from the director himself. The scene was left out because there is more fighting in the next movie and he didn’t want to bore the audience with two similar movies in a row. Well, thank you for your consideration Yates, but do I need to remind you that we all paid very handsomely to see the same exact movie three times in a row; it was called ‘Lord of the Rings’. We love that stuff. Nobody is going to be upset if there is a 10 minute wizard fight in one movie and then a 10 minute fight in the next one.

And where do the Death Eaters go in the end. They just kill Dumbledore and roll out? Doubtful. I’m sure in the book they are chased off by the other wizards (I haven't actually read the books). Another plot hole that the wizard fight could have clarified.

Along the lines of dropping important/cool portions of the book; where was Voldemort. This book is often referred to as 'Voldemort’s book', because half of the chapters are about him. Well he didn’t even make half a minute of this movie. Aside from his name being dropped a handful of times, he was nowhere to be found. What’s up with that. I want to see Voldemort bust some stuff up. In the book he goes around off-ing Muggles for fun and recruiting rogue wizards/witches to his army. That’s the kind of stuff I want to see. Speaking of which, why does Harry even bother having a personal life. With the Dark Lord out amassing an army to kill him, why doesn’t Harry spend his entire time trying to find and destroy Voldemort? Whatever happened to Dumbledore’s army (whatever good they did Dumbledore)? Harry and his wizard peeps should be out equalizing justice. Oh but Dude, they’re just kids, they can’t fight Voldemort. Really, did you see the last 5 movies?

So, try this one on for thought. Why is it that the world of wizards is so forgetful? I know they’re all old, but I sort of got the vibe that wizards were immune to Alzheimer’s. Even my grandpa remembers that there was a ‘time turner’ in the 3rd 'Harry Potter'. Where is it now? How useful would it be to turn back time and save some lives. Really useful, that’s the answer.

Along these lines, why is it that nobody remembered the Horcrux until now. If I was even a half educated Wizard and I knew that Voldemort was still alive somehow, that’s the first thing I would have thought of. You’re going to tell me that this little trick of immortality never crossed the minds of the faculty at Hogwarts?
Okay let’s give Dumbledore the benefit of the doubt and say that the time turner is broken and that the Horcrux is rare knowledge. Guess what, he still sucks-@$$. Dumbledore can whirl up a flaming tornado, teleport across hundreds of miles, and be head wizard, but he can’t cross a puddle of water. Do you remember this? In the cave of Voldemort’s Horcrux, Dumbledore looks forlorn as he realizes that between them and their destination is a mini-lake about 20 feet across. Are you telling me that Dumbledore had no magic up his sleeve to cross this short distance? I guess not. Another ridiculous point in the cave was Voldemort’s Horcrux. Being the most powerful evil wizard in the world and having the power to create multiple Horcrux, the best he could do to protect his soul was by putting it in a bowl of dirty water? Ha Ha, the unpleasant taste will stop them from destroying me. Come on Voldemort, really? Weak.

You know what one of my big questions is: Why is Hogwarts still attended? Think about it. Would you send your kid to a school where students died every year, faculty were frequently caught in conspiracy, the campus was surrounded by dangerous creatures (trolls, spiders, centaurs, etc.) and open student violence was tolerated (Harry nearly kills Malfoy, spells are practiced on each other as a joke). This is the worst school ever. But before I waste time ranting, allow me to direct you to another post that enumerates the reasons better than I can.

Link to '7 reasons why hogwarts is the worst school'